The Guidelines

 

Our guidelines provide the framework for group process, and are the reason our groups feel so loving and safe. Our guidelines look much like those of other organizations, but the way we interpret and use them is unique. They are, as framed and hung on our meeting room wall:


No Advice Giving

        No “shoulding” on each other.


One person speaks at a time

        Uninterrupted time to speak, with about equal time for each person, without cross talk.


Pay complete attention to each person as s/he is speaking.

       Eye contact, and undivided attention; cell phones off.


Listen respectfully and non-judgmentally.

       Knowing that each person can craft their best solution.


All personal information shared in the group is strictly confidential, never to be brought up again, except by the speaker, if and when s/he chooses.

        We don’t refer to what someone else has said when it’s our  turn to speak; we don’t bring up someone’s topic when we meet  outside of the Center, or even in another Center meeting. Instead, we let them be in control of their personal information and when it gets raised. This promotes healthy boundaries.


No put downs of yourself or others.

        Leave out negative labels, and describe neutrally instead.


Speak from your own experience.

        Use “I” statements. Speak your truth as opposed to “the truth.”